How Death Impacts My Work

So I just learned yesterday that my grandmother, Grace Brown (1925-2009) passed away. Rest her soul. Such news sends me into reflection about death, and the legacy of the deceased as well as the one I am creating. It occurs to me that the preponderance of the legacy we leave when we pass is rooted in the work we do while we are here. In this I mean not only "what" work we do, but also "how" we work, where the "how" far outweighs the "what" in importance.


I know that as I have crossed into my 40s I think more than ever about death and legacy and "how" I work is becoming relatively more important to me than "what" work I do. It's occurred to me that after 25 years of adult work, the basic tasks of work will not differ much for the rest of my life, but more largely the context and the character of my work.

Because I will not be able to work or, for that matter, live forever, I pay more attention to both. While death is a tragic thing, at least for those of us left to witness it, its sober and courageous contemplation can enrich and lend much purpose to life (and work) as few things are valued that are taken for granted as permanent, whether that is a job or a life.


Having witnessed the passing of another dear life, whose work, by the way, will be sorely missed, I take away the following insights:


1. I should work everyday as though it is were my last and bring every appropriate and relevant energy, grace, skill and authenticity to every task and interaction I encounter.

2. I should keep a perspective of "passionate detachment", especially when work becomes difficult and frustrating, knowing that everything I am accomplishing, or not, is temporary in occurrence. None of it will last forever either way, and thus I should not be too proud when successful, or too distraught when unsuccessful.

3. I should work for outcomes I truly care about in the world, that go beyond paying my bills, as work, paid or non-paid, is the primary tool we are given for making our mark on the world. Let's assure that mark is the one we intend to make.

4. I should work (and I mentioned this earlier in my posts, Honoring my (Working) Mothers on Mother's Day and What Africa Has Done For My Work.) to honor those who have taught me, through instruction and modeling, to work from my earliest youth to now.


Certainly Grace Brown, my grandmother, left her mark on me in this way. From toddlerhood, when I first detected her loving existence, to last Spring, when I last saw her, I recall her as a diligent woman, always applying her energy to some task related to the care and comfort of our family. It is to this recollection that I dedicate this post and my life of work. I am so glad that she got to see the results of her hard work in my own work and life and that I got to express my appreciation for her love and example to me.


So as we sit today preparing to reenter our work worlds on tomorrow, or maybe you did not even get to escape this weekend (I know I did not), take time to courageously reflect on death and let that reflection enrich how you go about your work as it is truly the stuff of our legacy. :-)

The Importance of How We Show Up!

In our last post we talked about the importance of showing up and how such is 90% of life. This post I want to carry that logic forward with the idea that while showing up is important, how we show up is critical to the success of showing up itself.

Sometimes we are discouraged by the results we get when we show up not considering that how we showed up damaged our result, or kept us from benefiting from the result we got. (Is that proper grammar?)

I know that I struggle with this and as I have paid more attention to how I show up, I find I consistently have to commit to these "hows":

1. patiently persistent knowing that things take time, especially with people, and that any showing up is just the latest in a series, not the last, and so I chip away at barriers and put another arch in the bridge with every showing up

2. ready to add unique value from my "value toolbox", not battling to add value that someone else already is, but to be non-redundant in what I offer thus saving myself the angst of defensiveness and turf battles

3. enthusiastic (spirited & engaged), knowing that in that state of being, I dance with God, my allies, my competitors and the emerging situation to pull off the best possible performance

4. mindful of my own biases and tendencies, productive and not, regarding people and situations, so that I can apply the best, and discipline the worst, thus maximizing my contribution to progress

I am sure I can name more but I have places and people I have to show up for here shortly. :-)

Be well and by all means, add to this list by commenting at www.wiseworking.com.

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Thanks!

The Importance of Showing Up!

Woody Allen, the famous movie director, is most often attributed with the quote, "90% of life is showing up", and of course we know that the other 10% is followup. I have been thinking lately about those areas of my life where I am not showing up, and I am not even talking about how I show up. That is a topic for another post.

So often we take ourselves out of the game before we even start playing. We allow the risk of failure, or being embarrassed, or laziness, perfectionism, etc., to get in the way of our showing up when typically the worst thing that will happen is that we will learning something valuable.

Showing up takes many forms. It does not even always take alot of time and energy but it does take courage.

Its initiating that conversation about an opportunity you are only dreaming about but which you want to come to fruition.

Its making time to do research and then sharing your findings, verbally and in writing, to benefit others interested in the same type of opportunities.

Its volunteering your present expertise in a different project context in order to gain first hand experience with a potential opportunity.

Its offering your inquiries & insights in a social community, analog and digital, focused on the type of opportunities you are interested in.

Its rethinking and reengaging with that relationship or project that you failed with the last time you showed up.

In the interest of balance, we need to consider that being finite humans, we cannot show up for everything and everybody, thus it is important to be wise and selective about where we show up. Show up for those people and engagements that truly align to your deepest, critical values and priorities.

Take time today to consider where you have not shown up but need to for this is truly 90% of life. In some future post, we will ponder the topic of how we ought to show up.

The Price is Not Too High, the Value is Too Low

In a world of "Everyday Low Prices" when the goal is to assure that every transaction is a bargain, like with anything, we can take this to an extreme where we transact for bargains that ultimately deliver shallow and inadequate value. In our work, we are all required to convince someone to purchase something of value from us (time, knowledge, contacts, outcome) at some price (salary/wages, fees, attention, membership). These are the elements of transaction. As you know, much haggling occurs in the transactional process as we weigh and negotiate to assure the lowest price for the highest corresponding value. We err when we allow these negotiations to focus too much on price (the more tangible and quantifiable element) rather than value.

The utterance, "that price is too high" is frequent but the fact is that people pay whatever price is asked for what they value and sometimes they will pay extra and brag that they did so; just look at military, legal services and luxury goods transactions. This "price too high" utterance is sweet in the mouth but bitter in the ear. When encountered, our opportunity is to detect and devise value propositions that warrant the price. Note that often the price does not have to change as much as the perception of the value being offered for that price. Unfortunately, we do not instinctively go for the "value build" because of its greater difficulty versus price lowering. We miss the point that the difficult has the advantage of not being easily imitated and by getting good at value building, we gain a significant competitive advantage in all we do.

When faced with the response, "the price is too high", whether we are talking about money, time or the risk of being trusted to get a job done, it behooves us to think first about what value justified the price, and if we have articulated this value thoroughly and compellingly enough. Such thinking better connects us with the valuable outcomes of our work taking us beyond a task to a valuable outcomes orientation. This is critical in an age where employers are more readily hiring for outcomes than for the completion of tasks. When developing your "value build" story, think not only in terms of what value is gained if your price is paid but also what is lost if the price is not paid. When articulating value, also remember there is more to it than money made or saved. There is time saved, service levels guaranteed, knowledge and experience levels leveraged, relationships gained, repaired and sustained, processes made more efficient, downtime reduced, projects well managed, etc.. Build value on as many dimensions as possible in order to warrant as high a price as possible.

So, let's begin to practice this different approach of looking for the "value build" when asking for others' investment in our work.

Thanks in advance for comments and further insights on this topic.

Translating Fear of Wrong Decisions to Learning From Wrong Decisions

Yesterday during my morning walk, I was reading, yes on my iPhone, a Daily Om newsletter on Self-Determination. In reading, I came across a sentence that alluded to how we are stopped by the fear of wrong decisions. I know this is a common barrier for me, having been raised on the sanctity of right decisions, and the utter sinfulness of wrong ones. This is also a habit I witness overwhelmingly in my coachees. This fear of wrong decisions is a problem when taken too far, and especially when it robs us of learning and the opportunities that learning takes advantage of.

With adequate time to reflect, I think you would agree that there has been a rare decisions made which did not have a risk of being wrong, yet, we generally have made the decision, reaped the benefits of its rightness, and the learnings of its wrongness without the world or our lives coming to an end. In situations where we procrastinated endlessly, we neither benefited or learned from our procrastination. I acknowledge here that sometimes the best decision is to sit tight but even in those cases, we should decide deliberately, and without fear, thus reserving our energy to better adapt to and learn from whatever happens, right or wrong.

As I have more and more decisions behind me in life, I have have developed confidence in this method of investing my energy more in learning from, and adapting to, wrong decisions than in fearing them, as they are inevitable. I am not perfect at it but I improve with every mindful decision. I encourage this perspective in you also.

Remember, every decision has a risk of right and wrong in it. Celebrate the right and learn from the wrong, but do not be paralyzed by fear of the latter.

Watching our Work!

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Do It Anyway!

I have been thinking alot this week about the Ten Paradoxical Commandments by Keith Kent. These commandments are encapsulated in a poem, Anyway which I have pasted below. I also dig the musical adaptation of this poem by the Roches from their album Zero Church. Take a read.

Anyway by Keith Kent

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered

Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
Be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies
Succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you
Be honest and frank anyway

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous
Be happy anyway

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough
Give the world the best you've got anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God
It was never between you and them anyway

This poem moved me because it speaks to many of the paradoxical elements of work, indeed of life. It encourages us to do right and well for Purpose's sake regardless of others' action, inaction, support or opposition. So often we allow our motivation to be tied to others. We renege on obligations to pursue our purpose because others react in neutral or negative ways.

This poem reminds us that in our work we should expect opposition, jealousy, destruction, selfishness, betrayal, unreasonableness, illogic, ulterior motives & enemies. This being as it is, we should not allow any of these barriers & violations to distract us from our purpose. Weshould do what we are here to do ANYWAY! That's rich! It reminds me of a favorite Biblical reference, Colossians 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. A more liberal, secular translation might say, work as though I am working for the Purpose at hand knowing that such achievement is its own reward.

Take stock of purposes you have given up on because of barriers, violations or opposition. Recommit & get back in action on these purposes ANYWAY!