Sunday, February 06, 2011

On Second Thoughts

While having a good discussion with a good friend on yesterday we got into the issue of our propensity for negative self-defeating, horriblizing self-talk. We delved into the topic of the need to move beyond those first negative thoughts to "second thoughts" where we challenge the first thoughts for their validity with an eye to rejecting and reframing them when appropriate to do so.

This we called, "Getting To The Second Thought". Its an excellent mental practice, good for reprogramming those tapes we have inherited through both nature and nurture. These tapes were intended to keep us from "getting too big for our britches" and worked too well. The result being that we too often undervalue our gifts, competence and influence talking ourselves out of much good we might do. We also devalue others and their intentions resulting in lots of lost opportunities for trust, cooperation, understanding and peace.

At the end of this discussion, my friend and I both recommitted to this practice of not stalling out on our first thought but moving on to the "second thought" where we right-size that first thought for benefit of the relationship with ourselves and others. And yes, we encourage you to do the same.

Be well and blessed.