4 Insights for Success: Miami International University Commencement Address 2012

Miami International University of Art & Design Commencement Address given by Craig DeLarge at the James L. Knight Center, Hyatt Regency, Downtown Miami, Miami, FL, June 13, 2012


Greetings administrators, professors, parents, and more importantly graduates of the Miami International University (MIU) Class of 2012. 


I am so honored to address you this momentous day when we celebrate not only the completion of your requirements for your respective degree, whether it be an Associate degree, Bachelor degree or Masters degree, but also the commencement, or beginning, as the word denotes, of your contribution to the society and the world, as creatives, artists, designers, innovators, managers, and leaders. 

I am also honored to be here at MIU as it is so exciting to see the work you are all doing here, on one hand, to advance both the theory and practice of the creative arts, and on another to set a new accredited standard in this region for practical creative education and practice. 

I also salute those to have supported these students to this point in their careers be they parents, other family members or friends for truly this achievement of your loved one is yours also as this achievement is a return on your investment of love, encouragement, time and money also. 

I want to now share a few insights with you I know to be true, at least based on my experience and what I have seen of the experience of others in my life, professionally and otherwise to help you on your way. I also understand that your President Fleming shared similar advice at your New Student Orientation and it seemed to have worked to get you here so a reminder will allow you to begin the rest of your career as successfully as you are ending this time at MIU. 

They are to: 1) patiently & persistently follow your bliss, 2) engage your life and career with a sense of Passionate Detachment, 3) live your your life’s Mission, and 4) remember that while you can make it, you cannot make it alone, you must be part of a Community to succeed.

1. Now for the first point. Patiently & Persisently follow your bliss. Joseph Campbell, the great authority on myth and story, who teach about the importance of seeing our lives as The Hero’s Journey, implores us all to “Follow Our Bliss”.

I especially admire all you who have completed this course of study as one who started college as a design major and then switched for fear that I would not be good enough. It so heartens me to see the courage in you that I did not find in myself for in this you are already following your bliss. I also again applaud you family members and friends who are supporting your loved one in their bliss as more of us can take a lesson from you.
Leaving this place and going forward into your respective careers, I encourage this class to use the patience, persistence and courage you have exhibited so far as a continued lever to carry yourself forward into a blissful career and vocation as creatives. Patiently persist to sharpen your skill, experience, reputation and community.  

Remember that patience gets all things done, and persistence wins. Expect challenge and opposition and use them as weights that build the muscle of character, spirit, knowledge, expertise and relationship. Resist the temptation to use them as excuses to become burdened, held up, embittered and demoralized. Even what you have achieved today, though you may have felt impatient and discouraged at times along the way, is the result of patient persistence as so many others have talked about doing what you have done but you have DONE it. Savor this knowing that as you have accomplished this you are capable of accomplishing many other things you want in your lives and careers.

2. The second point I want to share with you is that of engaging your life and career with a sense of Passionate Detachment. In his book, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, Dr. Richard Carlson talks about the practice of passionate detachment. In a nutshell, passionate detachment is an approach to life work, which focuses on “right execution” of process more than the outcome. In this “state of grace” we learn to enjoy the journey confident that the journey, pursued with the right spirit, will get us to the right destination, even when that destination is different than what we had originally envisioned.

I encourage you today to learn, if you have not already, to love the process, and trust the outcome. Life is such that one can hardly guarantee many outcomes no matter the effort invested, but one can guarantee the quality of attitude, focus, spirit and energy they bring to the process. In this fashion, whether they reach the originally desired outcome or not, they can say they have enjoyed the journey. 

3. The third point I want to share with you is that of living your life’s Mission. Richard Bolles, author of the job seeker & career changer’s bible, What Color Is Your Parachute, implores us to cultivate a mission in life which goes beyond just a job or a career plan, or the acquisition of material possessions and status. He suggests that key clues to one’s mission can be found in exploring one’s 1) talent of delight, 2) places & settings which appeal to them and 3) purposes, ways to improve the world, which resonate with them. You will be tempted and certainly have periods in your career where you lose your connection to mission, and may even have to remake your mission. This is to be expected. That being as it is, I beg you to seek reconnection for such reconnection is a high levee against the flood of despair, cynicism, discouragement and bitterness that you will see too much of in your work life. While this may be true of others, work to avoid it being true of you.

4. A fourth and final insight I want to share is related to that of Community for while you can make it you cannot make it alone. Contrary to the American myth of rugged individualism, there truly are no self-made successes, though I imagine there are many failures who attempted to be "self-made". Always remember that you are part of a rich and vibrant global community of creatives. This community started in the design environments and programs who experienced before MIU, then here in the classrooms and studios of MIU and now on to the agencies, consultancies, practices and companies where you will further sharpen your respective gifts and grow your legacy in the world. This community needs your fresh ideas, energy and perspective, even though they may not always be willing to admit it. This community is here to welcome and encourage your growth and contribution in it. Be willing and committed to being a part of this community as life-long learners and contributors, and eventually as leaders and mentors, for we are taken care of as we take care of one another.


So remember: 1) Patient Persistence, 2) Passionate Detachment, 3) Life’s Mission, and 4) Community. As you are true to these, they will be true to you.

You are blessed to be coming out of school into a global economy where design continues to be on the ascendancy and more important, available and valuable than ever. Design is capable of truly impacting the world’s intractable problems and ungrasped opportunities from poverty and hunger, to improved relations among people and peoples, to healthcare, to education, to spirituality, to increased productivity in our work and play. Design is solving these problems and capitalizing on these opportunities, and you are the latest generation of carriers and practitioners of this brilliant expertise. Do not forsake its power in your hands to shape and change the world on every level from idea, to belief, to feeling, to action. Take this responsibility seriously and carry it out faithfully. The world depends on it!

Thank you for your time and attention this afternoon. Congratulations again to you all! May you enjoy every challenge and success your life has for you, and may we all benefit from your contribution and gift in the world. 



Salu!

Waiting (Well) At Work (& Elsewhere) For What We Want

The last 2 years has put me through a difficult and edifying exercise in patience that has left me, well, more patient. I want to share it with you here as well as the list of lessons I learned in hope it will be helpful to you in your own trials of patience at work, as well as in other areas of your life.

In brief, I had a situation at my job where I deserved a promotion based on my performance relative to the requirements of my position, and I had been repeatedly passed over. Some of the reasons for this were known and others not but that is less the point than that at the end of the day, I was not promoted because, I believe, my maturity was more important than a promotion.

Its difficult to bear with not getting something you know you deserve. It hurt my ego, and in this case, my pocket. It was embarrassing on some levels (said my ego which is is embarrassed whenever its expectations are not met on its timetable). It was unfair on other levels (said my ego which is far from omniscient). I believe (and especially in retrospect) it is what was ordained for me though.

During this time of waiting, I persisted in working to understand why the promotion was delayed and doing those things required to obtain it. I was angry, and tempted to a poor attitude, but I was continually reminded by Psalms 75.6-7 that promotion comes not from the east or the west but from the Lord, by Jer. 29.11, that God knows the good plans He has for me, by Galatians 5.22-23 that the Fruit of the Spirit is patience and self-control (temperance), and by Romans 8.28 that all things work together for good. I am happy to say that recently my patience was rewarded with a promotion, and more importantly with the lessons below. Trust me when I tell you that the lessons are far more valuable than the promotion, though the promotion is not bad.

Lesson #1: God promotes, not our management (Psalms 75.6-7). I was angry with my management but was continually reminded that if there was anyone to be angry with it was God and that I should avoid the habit of being angry with people for situations that are ultimately out of their control but rather follow through with passionate detachment to do what I had been hired to do.

Lesson #2: Look to make longer term spiritual gains, when taking short term ego & material losses. In this case, I have gotten a result of a promotion but also another degree of spiritual maturity. In the short term, I lost money, but gained temperance, patience, perspective and a renewed confidence in God's plans for me.

Lesson #3: Align your story with God’s. Our wishes are not God’s command. So often we are frustrated by the story we tell ourselves about what we see of our situations. We forget that the story we tell is optional, either positive or negative, and that we never see the whole story. Sometimes waiting saves us from unseen grief and unwanted situations we cannot foresee. I found that telling myself a story of God’s benevolence and protection, rather than neglect and unfairness, helped during my wait. If we believe God loves us, we have to then work at telling loving stories to ourselves and others. We have to align our stories with God’s Word and not with our ego.

Lesson #4: Longer waits yield greater appreciation and maturity. Enough said.

Lesson #5: Behaving wisely while waiting provides advantage. Such wise behavior is credited to David in 1 Samuel 18.14 and a good model for us to study and imitate. When David was not getting what he wanted from Saul, he conducted himself in a manner which maintained goodwill and which God use to turn the king’s heart his way (Proverbs 21.1). We create the same effect when we do the same. Doing this yielded the result I wanted and an improved relationship with my management, I am happy to say.

Lesson #6: Make good with what we have versus what we desire. Luke 16.10-12 says that if we cannot handle a little, how will we handle a lot. So often we desire more money, status, titles, responsibility, etc., but are not handling what we have as well and gratefully as we could. I believe that waiting, challenges us to make better use of what we already have. In these cases, it is good to take stock of what we have, being more grateful for it, and making the most of it.

When in the midst of waiting these lessons were not apparent to me. It is mostly after the fact that they have occurred to me. I hope they are helpful to you in whatever situation you are waiting, whether at work, at home, in some relationship or otherwise.

Since Work is Long, also Make it Meaningful!

So it would seem that our work hours are not going to get any shorter either at work or elsewhere. Some would say, taking a longer historic perspective, that they are in fact shorter than they used to be. That's not making us feel better though. Let's face it, life is work.

So since we cannot shorten our work hours, I submit we should focus on transforming the quality of the work we do in those hours. This is in our control even if the other is not. We have so many opportunities to do this every moment. We can do it in the attention to detail and the crafts(person)ship we bring to our tasks, in the compassion and empathy we bring to our work relationships, in the the celebration of good result, and the gathering of learnings from unexpected results. The point is that with proper attention, compassion, empathy, celebration and learning, we can significantly raise the quality of our many work ours. Since this is our life (literally), why not live as high quality a work life as possible. This does not come natural but can be learned with patient, persistent practice, and to our benefit and all those around us.

Bring this greater quality to our long work hours requires:

1. slowing down our attention, if not our pace

2. being passionately detached and you can read more about this at my blog post on this topic

3. being deliberate in "starting with the end in mind" and being mindful to celebrate when that end is reached

4. valuing effectiveness in our work at least as much as efficiency.

As you take these steps, take time to reflect on the meaning your work is making in terms of your ability to:

1. provide and model for your family

2. improve the lives and wellbeing of your customers

3. develop your own character, reputation and skills.

Good "quality & meaning making" to you!

Passionate Detachment: A Paradox Worth Practicing

This paradoxical idea of “passionate detachment” was introduced to me years ago in my readings of Carlson’s “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff”. I call it paradoxical because I had been raised to understand that being passionate required being overwrought and stressed out as a sign of caring. I am so glad to be rescued from this approach. With time and consistent practice at cultivating this approach, I have learned to be driven with less (dis)stress, and to be committed without being bound or feeling put upon.

In a nutshell, passionate detachment is an approach to life, indeed work, which focuses on “right execution” of the process more than the outcome. One learns to enjoy the journey confident that the journey, pursued with the right spirit, will get us to the right destination, even when that destination is different than what we had originally envisioned at the outset.

I find that in this “state of grace”, I have more energy for coming up with creative solutions as less of it is tied up in negative emotions and speculations. I find that even when I do not get the outcome I envisioned (which is never guaranteed), I am more aware of the learnings the experience yields and I can take solace in a process well executed. Either outcome, these learnings make for continuous improvement and self-development, less of a negative emotional, psychological and relational toll on myself and those I lead.

How Death Impacts My Work

So I just learned yesterday that my grandmother, Grace Brown (1925-2009) passed away. Rest her soul. Such news sends me into reflection about death, and the legacy of the deceased as well as the one I am creating. It occurs to me that the preponderance of the legacy we leave when we pass is rooted in the work we do while we are here. In this I mean not only "what" work we do, but also "how" we work, where the "how" far outweighs the "what" in importance.


I know that as I have crossed into my 40s I think more than ever about death and legacy and "how" I work is becoming relatively more important to me than "what" work I do. It's occurred to me that after 25 years of adult work, the basic tasks of work will not differ much for the rest of my life, but more largely the context and the character of my work.

Because I will not be able to work or, for that matter, live forever, I pay more attention to both. While death is a tragic thing, at least for those of us left to witness it, its sober and courageous contemplation can enrich and lend much purpose to life (and work) as few things are valued that are taken for granted as permanent, whether that is a job or a life.


Having witnessed the passing of another dear life, whose work, by the way, will be sorely missed, I take away the following insights:


1. I should work everyday as though it is were my last and bring every appropriate and relevant energy, grace, skill and authenticity to every task and interaction I encounter.

2. I should keep a perspective of "passionate detachment", especially when work becomes difficult and frustrating, knowing that everything I am accomplishing, or not, is temporary in occurrence. None of it will last forever either way, and thus I should not be too proud when successful, or too distraught when unsuccessful.

3. I should work for outcomes I truly care about in the world, that go beyond paying my bills, as work, paid or non-paid, is the primary tool we are given for making our mark on the world. Let's assure that mark is the one we intend to make.

4. I should work (and I mentioned this earlier in my posts, Honoring my (Working) Mothers on Mother's Day and What Africa Has Done For My Work.) to honor those who have taught me, through instruction and modeling, to work from my earliest youth to now.


Certainly Grace Brown, my grandmother, left her mark on me in this way. From toddlerhood, when I first detected her loving existence, to last Spring, when I last saw her, I recall her as a diligent woman, always applying her energy to some task related to the care and comfort of our family. It is to this recollection that I dedicate this post and my life of work. I am so glad that she got to see the results of her hard work in my own work and life and that I got to express my appreciation for her love and example to me.


So as we sit today preparing to reenter our work worlds on tomorrow, or maybe you did not even get to escape this weekend (I know I did not), take time to courageously reflect on death and let that reflection enrich how you go about your work as it is truly the stuff of our legacy. :-)

Failure Needs No Plan

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